Do you know how sometimes you really want to share something with people , but you can’t, because you have not shared it with someone else yet? Someone who should probably know first?
That’s how I’m feeling right now, & it’s not good. I don’t like keeping secrets, I am not good at it.
I feel like getting naked. Not literally. Not yet,anyway. I will join all the beautiful Mamas over at The Shape of a Mother once I have had this baby. I was going to submit something after George was born, but things happened , more annoying things I can not share for fear of hurting others, that stopped me from even looking into a mirror for well over a month.
What I mean is , I need to say things. I need to find somewhere to say them where the people who are not supposed to know won’t read it. I’ve been over at Facebook a lot.
I have been having a hard time staying calm around people who give me advice on how to deal with certain things, how to raise my children, that sort of thing.
I have been staying away from situations that will make me angry.
I have been looking at places to move to, because I feel we need to get away.
Did I tell you that our neighbours complained about us?
It’s funny, actually. They complained about this:
A tiny picture frame in the window. They actually complained. And not in a nice way, not talking to us first, no, they complained to the “board”, and to the letting agent.
It’s not the reason I want to move, though. I adore this house, it is our home, it is in a beautiful place, but we won’t get to stay much longer anyway. Our contract ended a month ago and they still haven’t renewed it. The only reason they are letting us stay is because I’m pregnant, & I have no doubt that they will ask us to leave soon.
I think it’s for the best, though. As I said, I want to get away. I want to move to a place where noone knows us, where there is some distance between us and everyone & everything.
We have been going to the forest a lot,
it feels good. It feels better than going to the beach, I’m not sure why.
Emily feels it, too.
There is a stream where we went to collect some water samples for a science project ,
and instead of trying to collect water carefully she just put herself right into the water.
I love that, because that is what I wanted to do. I regret that I didn’t, I really do.
Something about water and my girl.
We’ve been going swimming, too, just Emily and me. It’s good.
I am hoping that soon I can share some of the things that are on my mind,
I’m thinking monday.
I am sorry this is so vague, it’s difficult to share without sharing.
One very good thing though,
I am really pleased with our new government, as you all know it’s been a scary time for home educators in the UK, & we can now all breathe a sigh of relief. That’s one less thing to worry about, at least!
“There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent.”
Have a good day.